I've just been doing some more thinking out loud about religion. Religion, and politics, are topics that most people will not discuss during casual/civil conversation. While avoiding this discussion seems to be prudent at times, I think that we miss the opportunity to learn from different people and thereby refine our position in these matters.
The difference seems to be between casual and civil. It might be appropriate to avoid religion in casual conversation but I think it is certainly appropriate to discuss religion during civil conversation. I think it is only healthy when individuals can engage in a free exchange of ideas and still remain civil to each other. After all, Eleanor Roosevelt said "Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people." I do not claim to be a great mind but find nothing wrong with acting like one once in a while.
So I will from time to time post some of my thinking about religion and invite the comments of others so that we might have a civil discussion.
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Monday, January 16, 2012
Saturday, January 14, 2012
just some thinking outloud: religion
Just some thinking outloud, with some research, has strengthened my spirituality and allowed me to look at religion with different eyes. I have found that there is a huge difference between spirituality and religion. That difference has become very important to me.
Spirituality is an inner, life controlling, state of mind for me. It determines my actions and reactions. The state of my spirituality is continually expressed to others by my demeanor and attitude. I judge the strength of my spirituality by determining whether or not I am serene and happy. My spirituality is a very personal thing between me and God. This state of personal spirituality does not allow other people to affect it.
Religion has come to mean many different things to different people. Most people seem to have a prejudice against religion and often cite examples of "religious" people acting in very non-religious ways. This prejudice seems to allow them to denigrate anything related to religion or anyone professing religion.
What is not readily apparent to most is that these people prejudiced against religion are, by making a judgment, expressing a degree of spirituality. That spirituality is the basis they use to determine right or wrong.
Spirituality is an inner, life controlling, state of mind for me. It determines my actions and reactions. The state of my spirituality is continually expressed to others by my demeanor and attitude. I judge the strength of my spirituality by determining whether or not I am serene and happy. My spirituality is a very personal thing between me and God. This state of personal spirituality does not allow other people to affect it.
Religion has come to mean many different things to different people. Most people seem to have a prejudice against religion and often cite examples of "religious" people acting in very non-religious ways. This prejudice seems to allow them to denigrate anything related to religion or anyone professing religion.
What is not readily apparent to most is that these people prejudiced against religion are, by making a judgment, expressing a degree of spirituality. That spirituality is the basis they use to determine right or wrong.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
just thinking out loud about a dichotomy
This is just some thinking out loud about a dichotomy I recognize which I have not been able to resolve. It may be that this requires no resolution yet it is on my mind
I do not believe the government should be doing things for people that they should be doing for themselves, I think if we give up that right to government it will be used to control us in many different ways.
I have a grandson who went through a drug rehabilitation program. He definitely needed the program but had no insurance or assets to pay for the program. I am sure that government monies (tax dollars) were used to pay for his participation. That disturbs me.
How do I resolve the fact that my grandson received some help, not a cure, because tax dollars made the program available to all when I don’t want the government involved in this type of a situation. I know that he, or his family, should have paid for this program. That didn’t happen because of an inability to pay on his and their part.
He and by extension I benefited from the expenditure of tax dollars. I want my grandson to get all of the help possible. I just have a problem with that help coming from the government.
I do not believe the government should be doing things for people that they should be doing for themselves, I think if we give up that right to government it will be used to control us in many different ways.
I have a grandson who went through a drug rehabilitation program. He definitely needed the program but had no insurance or assets to pay for the program. I am sure that government monies (tax dollars) were used to pay for his participation. That disturbs me.
How do I resolve the fact that my grandson received some help, not a cure, because tax dollars made the program available to all when I don’t want the government involved in this type of a situation. I know that he, or his family, should have paid for this program. That didn’t happen because of an inability to pay on his and their part.
He and by extension I benefited from the expenditure of tax dollars. I want my grandson to get all of the help possible. I just have a problem with that help coming from the government.
Monday, January 9, 2012
just some thinking out loud about My Grandson
I have just been doing some thinking out loud about an ongoing situation in our family for many years. We have a grandson who is an addict. He has lied to us, stolen from us, disrupted family gatherings, and strained family relationships, yet very seldom, if it all, did or does he apologize for any of his actions or try to change.
His relationship with his mother is problematic. He never had a father figure as a worthy example for him to follow. His father had some serious mental problems, became addicted to cocaine, and finally committed suicide. The ultimate act of selfishness on the fathers part as far as I’m concerned. This left the boy (man) with a definite sense of abandonment. His mother has not been strong enough to guide him, particularly in difficult times. Now the boy/man uses guilt against his mother and other family members to get the things that he wants without him making any meaningful effort to achieve them by his own effort. It seems like he feels that just because he is her son and in the family he is entitled to anything and everything that the family has and he wants or needs. If they don’t give, he simply takes what he wants.
I really am at a loss as to how to handle the situation, I think his mother has finally come around to the realization that she has the right to a life of her own and should not be required to continue to provide a livelihood for her son, a man, who makes little effort to sustain himself. After all, he will soon be 27 years old and should be a man, has fathered a son of his own (who is without his father in his life), continues in his addictive behavior, and still wants and expects to be cared for as if were still a child and needs to do little other than play.
One of the major factors of the dissension within the family is that his grandmother has decided that he is entitled to food and shelter and some financial support just because he is her grandson, I don’t have any problem with that, if the man were trying to provide for himself and just needed help. But now it seems that he thinks that he doesn’t need to do anything other than ask for someone to give him what is required for him to live. He seems to think that he can pursue his wants and others will care for his needs, The grandmother seems to blame the mother for most of the problem yet assigns little blame to the addict. She thinks that the mother should continue to provide for the son even if the son is unwilling to do little if anything to help himself.
Examples: (only two of many)
1. He went through detoxification and rehab for his addiction. To get out of rehab, he had to have a place to live. He agreed to enter a halfway house so he could get out of rehab. There was a waiting list for admission to the halfway house, so he was allowed to move back in with his mother while waiting. When it was time to go to the halfway house he said no to going. He said he lied about going to the halfway house so he could get out of rehab. The halfway house would’ve provided for his basic needs such as food and shelter. But he decided he didn’t want that. He wanted something else. He apparently wanted to rely on his mother and his grandmother for the things that he could’ve gotten elsewhere through some effort on his part. Apparently he has no misgivings about relying on family members even when in doing so he is creating hardships for those he is relying upon as long as he gets what he wants, how he wants it.
2. The man could get a link card (food stamps) and get foodstuffs so that he wouldn’t go hungry. But, he doesn’t even want to do that. He won’t, or at least hasn’t, made the effort to fill out the paperwork necessary to get the link card. Yet, he has his girl friend visiting him in his mothers home and she enjoys the hospitality of his mother just as he does. This hospitality extends to his friends as well. His girl friend and other friends stay for days at a time imposing on a hospitality provided by the mother for her son. The son extends the hospitality (obligation) of his mother and grandmother to include his friends and girlfriend. He seems to think that he can pursue his wants and others will care for his needs, The grandmother seems to blame the mother for most of the problem yet assigns little blame to the addict. She thinks that the mother should continue to provide for the son even if the son is unwilling to do much of anything to help himself.
His relationship with his mother is problematic. He never had a father figure as a worthy example for him to follow. His father had some serious mental problems, became addicted to cocaine, and finally committed suicide. The ultimate act of selfishness on the fathers part as far as I’m concerned. This left the boy (man) with a definite sense of abandonment. His mother has not been strong enough to guide him, particularly in difficult times. Now the boy/man uses guilt against his mother and other family members to get the things that he wants without him making any meaningful effort to achieve them by his own effort. It seems like he feels that just because he is her son and in the family he is entitled to anything and everything that the family has and he wants or needs. If they don’t give, he simply takes what he wants.
I really am at a loss as to how to handle the situation, I think his mother has finally come around to the realization that she has the right to a life of her own and should not be required to continue to provide a livelihood for her son, a man, who makes little effort to sustain himself. After all, he will soon be 27 years old and should be a man, has fathered a son of his own (who is without his father in his life), continues in his addictive behavior, and still wants and expects to be cared for as if were still a child and needs to do little other than play.
One of the major factors of the dissension within the family is that his grandmother has decided that he is entitled to food and shelter and some financial support just because he is her grandson, I don’t have any problem with that, if the man were trying to provide for himself and just needed help. But now it seems that he thinks that he doesn’t need to do anything other than ask for someone to give him what is required for him to live. He seems to think that he can pursue his wants and others will care for his needs, The grandmother seems to blame the mother for most of the problem yet assigns little blame to the addict. She thinks that the mother should continue to provide for the son even if the son is unwilling to do little if anything to help himself.
Examples: (only two of many)
1. He went through detoxification and rehab for his addiction. To get out of rehab, he had to have a place to live. He agreed to enter a halfway house so he could get out of rehab. There was a waiting list for admission to the halfway house, so he was allowed to move back in with his mother while waiting. When it was time to go to the halfway house he said no to going. He said he lied about going to the halfway house so he could get out of rehab. The halfway house would’ve provided for his basic needs such as food and shelter. But he decided he didn’t want that. He wanted something else. He apparently wanted to rely on his mother and his grandmother for the things that he could’ve gotten elsewhere through some effort on his part. Apparently he has no misgivings about relying on family members even when in doing so he is creating hardships for those he is relying upon as long as he gets what he wants, how he wants it.
2. The man could get a link card (food stamps) and get foodstuffs so that he wouldn’t go hungry. But, he doesn’t even want to do that. He won’t, or at least hasn’t, made the effort to fill out the paperwork necessary to get the link card. Yet, he has his girl friend visiting him in his mothers home and she enjoys the hospitality of his mother just as he does. This hospitality extends to his friends as well. His girl friend and other friends stay for days at a time imposing on a hospitality provided by the mother for her son. The son extends the hospitality (obligation) of his mother and grandmother to include his friends and girlfriend. He seems to think that he can pursue his wants and others will care for his needs, The grandmother seems to blame the mother for most of the problem yet assigns little blame to the addict. She thinks that the mother should continue to provide for the son even if the son is unwilling to do much of anything to help himself.
Sunday, January 8, 2012
just some thinking out loud about: Government?
This is an example of me with just some thinking out loud about: Government?
Why do I think the government has taken over so many of the functions of family and friends?
Has this happened because family and friends have failed to perform their normal function?
Or is it the fact that government has chosen to take over these functions, under guise of equality for all, so that it might be more in control of the life of the people it governs?
Does this mean that politicians assume control of functions that normally would not be theirs and thereby attain power and authority over us?
Am I wrong to think the government (politicians) have too much power and authority over me?
Why do I think the government has taken over so many of the functions of family and friends?
Has this happened because family and friends have failed to perform their normal function?
Or is it the fact that government has chosen to take over these functions, under guise of equality for all, so that it might be more in control of the life of the people it governs?
Does this mean that politicians assume control of functions that normally would not be theirs and thereby attain power and authority over us?
Am I wrong to think the government (politicians) have too much power and authority over me?
Saturday, January 7, 2012
just some thinking out loud about: Charity
This is just some thinking out loud about: Charity
Charity may and can be a normal result of the social interaction between people. Man, by instinct, is sociable. Because of that sociability we give thought to the needs and wants of others so as to avoid conflict or dissension within the group. Less conflict and dissension makes for a more harmonious and enjoyable group.
If our needs and wants are fulfilled, we may give more consideration to the needs and wants of others simply to make our experience in the group more enjoyable.. This may lead to charity. This charity on our part is not truly selfless as the act will benefit us through the group.
A problem seems to arise when our wants, beyond our needs, override our consideration of the needs of others within the group.
Charity may and can be a normal result of the social interaction between people. Man, by instinct, is sociable. Because of that sociability we give thought to the needs and wants of others so as to avoid conflict or dissension within the group. Less conflict and dissension makes for a more harmonious and enjoyable group.
If our needs and wants are fulfilled, we may give more consideration to the needs and wants of others simply to make our experience in the group more enjoyable.. This may lead to charity. This charity on our part is not truly selfless as the act will benefit us through the group.
A problem seems to arise when our wants, beyond our needs, override our consideration of the needs of others within the group.
just some thinking out loud about: Compassion
This is just some thinking out loud about: Compassion.
I know of a family that expresses their compassion by adopting a particular breed of dog. Rather than allow these dogs to be put down they are adopted and cared for in the home just as if they were children. I’m talking 4 to 8 animals within the household, within the house. I know this has to be costly in both time and money.
By example and other organizations TV ads this family seems to think that others should do the same as they do. I have no problem with them doing that but I have no intention of doing it. I prefer to express my compassion in other ways.
I wonder how much these people are concerned with the suffering of other humans. Do they have compassion for their fellow man as well as animals? How do they express that compassion, if they do? I doubt if this particular family provides charity for other humans in any meaningful way if at all.
They seem to have assigned all their compassion to these animals that they have rescued. I wonder how much effort they make to care for someone else not something else. It is a choice they are free to make and I relish in that freedom . I prefer to express my compassion by helping my fellow man. I think that is an obligation as well as a freedom.
I know of a family that expresses their compassion by adopting a particular breed of dog. Rather than allow these dogs to be put down they are adopted and cared for in the home just as if they were children. I’m talking 4 to 8 animals within the household, within the house. I know this has to be costly in both time and money.
By example and other organizations TV ads this family seems to think that others should do the same as they do. I have no problem with them doing that but I have no intention of doing it. I prefer to express my compassion in other ways.
I wonder how much these people are concerned with the suffering of other humans. Do they have compassion for their fellow man as well as animals? How do they express that compassion, if they do? I doubt if this particular family provides charity for other humans in any meaningful way if at all.
They seem to have assigned all their compassion to these animals that they have rescued. I wonder how much effort they make to care for someone else not something else. It is a choice they are free to make and I relish in that freedom . I prefer to express my compassion by helping my fellow man. I think that is an obligation as well as a freedom.
just some thinking out loud about:"Takers" not "Makers"
After I read this piece and just some thinking out loud about:"Takers" not "Makers" I decided I wanted to share it. I think it speaks to a major situation in our country today and sheds light on some of the reasons for the divisions in our society.
We have become a nation of "Takers" not "Makers," so says Stephen Moore, senior economics writer for the Wall Street Journal. Sometime back, a friend sent me an article written by Mr. Moore, dated April 11, 2011, in which he outlines in very vivid detail why many states in our nation are teetering on the verge of bankruptcy. As a general rule, when any business or a government goes bankrupt, it means that expenses exceed income. If this situation continues for long enough, an organization of any kind is insolvent and has no other choice but to declare bankruptcy.
It's kind of like that fellow I heard about one time who was making it for $3 and selling it for $1, but they said he was making it up on volume. From a practical standpoint, when a ship starts sinking, you know the first thing that happens, don't you? The captain and crew begin to throw everything overboard that is not nailed down to lighten the load. This is what states that are on the verge of bankruptcy must also do, but it's very painful.
If you want to understand better why so many states - from New York to Wisconsin to California - are going bankrupt, consider this depressing statistic. Today in America, there are nearly twice as many people working for the government (22.5 million) than in all of manufacturing (11.5 million). This is an almost exact reversal of the situation in 1960, when there were 15 million workers in manufacturing and 8.7 million collecting a paycheck from the government. It gets worse. More Americans now work for the government than work in construction, farming, fishing, forestry, manufacturing, mining and utilities combined.
Here is the real rub and why we must reverse the trend if we are to survive. Nearly half of the $2.2 trillion cost of state and local government is the $1 trillion-a-year tab to pay the benefits of state and local employees. Is it any wonder that so many states cannot pay their bills? In his article, Mr. Moore gives a number of state-by-state examples, but it all adds up to the same thing, as already stated - unless the trend is reversed - we will not survive..
Read more: http://thesouthern.com/lifestyles/faith-and-values/is-your-state-going-bankrupt/article_7598a740-335d-11e1-a968-0019bb2963f4.html#ixzz1i7YKwQr2
Thursday, December 15, 2011
just some thinking out loud about: things I am concerned
Just some thinking outloud about things I am concerned about led me to bogging as a means of catharsis.
I am surely concerned about many things that affect me, my family, friends, community, and society as a whole. These things may be a myriad including statements, actions, situations or perceptions. I understand that I have no control over most of these things. Yet, being the person that I am, I want to control them. At times I think that if the world ran as I would direct it we would all live in a better place and be happy. At other times I remember that when I run things my way things don’t always work out the best. This understanding has led me to a personal evaluation problem.
Because I am surely concerned about these problems I have developed several questions that I ask myself before attempting to alleviate the situation. Does the situation actually warrant my consideration? Should I actually be concerned? Should I become involved in the situation? To what extent should I be involved? Will my involvement help alleviate the situation or make it worse? Is my involvement merely to further my own personal desire or do I truly want to help those involved? Just because I am concerned, does the situation warrant action on my part or I am I just being a busybody? Is there a possibility that my involvement will produce positive results or will it aggravate the situation and thereby harm someone? These are the kinds of questions that I ask myself when I consider addressing situations that I am concerned about.
My life experiences place me in a unique position to evaluate concerns that I perceive or am presented with by others. I do not always have the answer but often have experienced a similar if not the same situation. I try only to relate what I did in that situation and what the result was. I am still learning but my past experience can and has at times proven to be valuable to others as well as to me.
I am surely concerned about many things that affect me, my family, friends, community, and society as a whole. These things may be a myriad including statements, actions, situations or perceptions. I understand that I have no control over most of these things. Yet, being the person that I am, I want to control them. At times I think that if the world ran as I would direct it we would all live in a better place and be happy. At other times I remember that when I run things my way things don’t always work out the best. This understanding has led me to a personal evaluation problem.
Because I am surely concerned about these problems I have developed several questions that I ask myself before attempting to alleviate the situation. Does the situation actually warrant my consideration? Should I actually be concerned? Should I become involved in the situation? To what extent should I be involved? Will my involvement help alleviate the situation or make it worse? Is my involvement merely to further my own personal desire or do I truly want to help those involved? Just because I am concerned, does the situation warrant action on my part or I am I just being a busybody? Is there a possibility that my involvement will produce positive results or will it aggravate the situation and thereby harm someone? These are the kinds of questions that I ask myself when I consider addressing situations that I am concerned about.
My life experiences place me in a unique position to evaluate concerns that I perceive or am presented with by others. I do not always have the answer but often have experienced a similar if not the same situation. I try only to relate what I did in that situation and what the result was. I am still learning but my past experience can and has at times proven to be valuable to others as well as to me.
just some thinking outloud: addict - stealing
Just some thinking outloud has led me to recognize many frustrations. Many of my frustrations arise from my compelled interaction with an addict.
My frustration with an addict includes him stealing from me. I'm talking about more than one type of stealing. He steals from me mentally and spiritually as well as materially. The theft of my peace of mind is more upsetting than the actual loss of a physical object.
What I want to talk about right now is the material loss. Over the years in dealing with an addict I've had many things disappear or take legs and walk off. I've lost carpentry tools, mechanical tools, lawn and garden tools, incidental valuable articles, and lots of money. No one of these losses was very large in an of itself but combined they come to quite a substantial sum. As these losses occurred, I often said, "he didn't have to steal that, I would have given it to him." Now I have come to the point that I am not so sure I would give him anything. I am almost to the point where I'm ready to pursue legal action. I am beginning to believe that he would be better off in jail than continuing to live as he does.
In the past I've bailed him out of jail. That money was never to be seen again. Most of the time I didn't even get a thank you for it. I've come to the point now that I think I will refuse any other request for bail money.
I believe there is a solution to the problem. That solution requires a change. The change must be on the part of the addict. I realize that if he keeps doing the same things in the same way he cannot expect a different result.
My frustration with an addict includes him stealing from me. I'm talking about more than one type of stealing. He steals from me mentally and spiritually as well as materially. The theft of my peace of mind is more upsetting than the actual loss of a physical object.
What I want to talk about right now is the material loss. Over the years in dealing with an addict I've had many things disappear or take legs and walk off. I've lost carpentry tools, mechanical tools, lawn and garden tools, incidental valuable articles, and lots of money. No one of these losses was very large in an of itself but combined they come to quite a substantial sum. As these losses occurred, I often said, "he didn't have to steal that, I would have given it to him." Now I have come to the point that I am not so sure I would give him anything. I am almost to the point where I'm ready to pursue legal action. I am beginning to believe that he would be better off in jail than continuing to live as he does.
In the past I've bailed him out of jail. That money was never to be seen again. Most of the time I didn't even get a thank you for it. I've come to the point now that I think I will refuse any other request for bail money.
I believe there is a solution to the problem. That solution requires a change. The change must be on the part of the addict. I realize that if he keeps doing the same things in the same way he cannot expect a different result.
just some thinking outloud: addict - lies
Continuing to do just some thinking outloud has caused me to recognize other frustrations that I have.
I, like so many others, am faced with an addict in my family and I am frustrated. Even though this addict is not a member of my household I must deal with this addict and situations he is involved in much more than I would like. I find that very difficult for me and problematic to the whole family.
The problems that are created, that I must face at times, seem to be just overwhelming. I particularly dislike the lies that he uses to justify his actions. I find it very difficult to accept that the lies that are being told are just a result of the addiction itself. That just doesn't seem to make the fact of the lying any easier to accept. I want to believe the addict but realize that most of the time what I'm being told is not the truth even when the truth would be simpler and easier.
I'm faced with situations, primarily of arguments within the family, due to the lies or due to the paranoia of the addict. Other members of the family are drawn into the arguments. This often leads to screaming, yelling, and crying which all have to be dealt with.
How am I supposed to handle it, or do I need to handle it? Can I get away from it? Should I get away from it? Should I intervene or not intervene? Can't the addict see what is being done to the family as a result of his actions?
I hope by being required to organize my thoughts enough to put them down in an understandable fashion the action may prove beneficial to me.
I, like so many others, am faced with an addict in my family and I am frustrated. Even though this addict is not a member of my household I must deal with this addict and situations he is involved in much more than I would like. I find that very difficult for me and problematic to the whole family.
The problems that are created, that I must face at times, seem to be just overwhelming. I particularly dislike the lies that he uses to justify his actions. I find it very difficult to accept that the lies that are being told are just a result of the addiction itself. That just doesn't seem to make the fact of the lying any easier to accept. I want to believe the addict but realize that most of the time what I'm being told is not the truth even when the truth would be simpler and easier.
I'm faced with situations, primarily of arguments within the family, due to the lies or due to the paranoia of the addict. Other members of the family are drawn into the arguments. This often leads to screaming, yelling, and crying which all have to be dealt with.
How am I supposed to handle it, or do I need to handle it? Can I get away from it? Should I get away from it? Should I intervene or not intervene? Can't the addict see what is being done to the family as a result of his actions?
I hope by being required to organize my thoughts enough to put them down in an understandable fashion the action may prove beneficial to me.
just some thinking outloud: addict: relationships
I have found that some thinking outloud concerning relationships involving an addict has revealed many of my frustrations.
I am frustrated with the addict because he seriously affects our family relationships.
Relationships within the family or group when dealing with an addict can be very difficult. I find that the addict that I must deal with seems to have the attitude that everything must be done for him or at least in consideration of him. It seems to me that all he wants to do is take, take, take, gimme, gimme, gimme, with no thought of what he might contribute.
I am frustrated with the addict because he seriously affects our family relationships.
Relationships within the family or group when dealing with an addict can be very difficult. I find that the addict that I must deal with seems to have the attitude that everything must be done for him or at least in consideration of him. It seems to me that all he wants to do is take, take, take, gimme, gimme, gimme, with no thought of what he might contribute.
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